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  • Tiffani Cappello CHt, CLC

Illusory Thinking

In times of uncertainty it is not unusual for fear to take hold of us. The key to resiliency and emotional strength is whether you remain within its grasp or quickly pry its cold fingers from around your neck before it chokes the life out of you. Dealing constructively with fear is a key factor in being able to move forward during uncertain times.


There is a spiritual lesson in fear. It teaches us where our attachments lie. We do not fear to lose that which has little value. It reveals to where we rely on external things to provide us with our sense of security. It demonstrates how much we have been relying on accomplishment to provide ourselves with a sense of purpose and meaning. We learn where we still need to grow. If you rely on something outside of yourself to provide you peace of mind or your value as a human being, you will continually fear it’s loss. You will be repeatedly haunted by endless negative possibilities that have the potential to rob you of what you hold dear.


Some deal with this attachment anxiety by choosing to value nothing. Their fear did not go away, actually it has choked out their ability to trust, to love, and to live a truly meaningful life. To avoid loss, they choose not to love anything or anyone too dearly. They remain detached from life and.... even from even themselves. They have chosen to face the harsh realities of life by deadening and pushing aside their capacity to love, and in doing so, they have also impaired their capacity to feel even joy. There is no optimistic looking ahead in this grim view of life.


It’s like looking at life through a dirty window. It is difficult to enjoy the sunshine and experience the beauty that surrounds you.





Neither have I been one to lean towards blind optimism. Life is hard. Loss brings grief. Even if you embrace the “flaw of attraction” or you are ambitiously striving for “your best life now“ while maintaining your focus on the positive, it does not mean you will be immune to hardship and difficulty. Yes, this is despite what you may have been taught about being able to manifest only positive realities through faith or positive intention.


I think that is a lesson this pandemic provides us - if we care to listen.


And if we have ears to hear, we might just uncover the truth…


The truth is that peace, love, and joy are not something you need to strive for, manifest, or attract to yourself. They are states of mind that you already possess- in the absence of illusory thinking. We have spent our lives searching for something that was never missing.


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© 2019 by Tiffani Cappello. 

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